Car Paranoia: Bucket Truck

Are you ever driving and pass by a road crew who is working on power lines? You have to swerve around and see the guy at the top in the bucket. I personally have a Morbid Moment every time I pass by because I fear that the bucket will malfunction and the guy will come tumbling out and drop down onto the hood of my car as I drive past.
 

 
Or you drive past the road crew that are cutting back trees. You notice that all they have are some ropes to catch the tree limbs as they cut them. I always worry about the tree branch falling, smashing through my windshield, and impaling me.

 Do you ever have these Morbid Moments of Car Paranoia?

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Winter Wonderland

Recently in the state of New Jersey we had a little bit of snow fall which covered the roads but made a nice winter wonderland.

The beautiful snow can cause people to be stupid and cause multiple morbid moments. I was driving down the road and this idiot was walking in the middle of the street even though the sidewalks were perfectly clear. How foolish are you? This always causes me to think morbid thoughts like I could lose control of my car and hit you or even worse you can hit a patch of ice/snow/slush and slip and roll right under my car!

Would I be wrong if I yell out the window for the person to get on the sidewalk (this statement has been edited for any inappropriate language).

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Killer Vending Machine

Do you ever get a craving and decide to hit up the vending machine? You put your money in and realize you do not have enough money, or you hit the wrong button and get something crappy, or the worse yet you hit the button for what you want and your item gets stuck. You then have a moment of temporary insanity and start to beat up the vending machine! Well be careful vending machines can and will strike back!

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Monkeys Want Your Soul!!!

I was recently watching television and saw one of those instrument playing monkeys. I thought to myself wow those things are the creepiest ever. I mean really think about it. The only time you see those Monkeys are in scary movies in which they automatically start playing because of some ghost or spirit is present. I personally think those Monkeys have evil souls from people who were executed for heinous crimes. I always feel that those Monkeys have one thing in mind and that is to kill!

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

S/N: Please do not look to closely in the eyes of the monkey in the picture it might try to steal your soul.

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Best Bedtime Story

“Once upon a time under your bed, there was the scariest monster ever to exist. Oh, did I say 'once upon a time'? I meant currently."

 

"It loves eating children"

"Not for any particular reason. That's just what it does."

"It's coming out to eat you probably within the next week, depending on its schedule. Tonight? Tomorrow? Who can say?"

"Good night. Sleep well”

 

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ATM Killer

I recently watched the trailer for the movie ATM and must admit I was excited to see Josh from Drake and Josh making a comeback. However, after watching the trailer I realized that this movie is essentially a morbid moment that I always have. I personally hate going to ATMs that are in that little vestibule thing. I always fear that the person waiting in the car or the person who has the nerve to come in there with me has donned a pig mask and has piano wire and is just waiting to kill me.

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Be Independent!

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just leave me alone.

Twitter: Professorwhite

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Donkeys vs Planes

Are you ever on an airplane and begin to fear that this is it, you will die in a horrific plane crash?

I know you probably laughed at this picture below and are sitting there thinking awe donkeys are not that bad. Well you are wrong!

Random Fact: More people are killed annually by donkeys than by airplanes!

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Car Paranoia: Stalker

Apparently I do have a mass amount of car paranoia. So might as well keep the craziness going.

Have you ever been driving home at night. You make your right turn and then make your left turn and realize that the car behind you is following you. You then begin to panic and make extra turns and they make the same turns!

Now do you go the extra paranoia level and worry that the person behind you is a masked serial killer with piano wire just waiting for you to stop so they can drag your body out the car and kill you? Does your paranoia now get to the point that you drive past your house until this person stops following?

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment of Car Paranoia?

Twitter: Professorwhite

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Car Paranoia: Tinted Windows

I realized that I have constant fears of being killed in a car. You first read about my fear of a masked serial killer in the back seat, well I have another one.

Are you ever driving alone at night and are the only car on the road? Then a second car that was behind you drives up next to you with tinted windows. I always have this sudden fear that there is a crazed killer in that car and they are holding up a gun behind those tinted windows and are going to kill me.

Do you ever have this Morbid Moment of Car Paranoia?

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Urinal - Man Codes

So after watching an episode of Man Code apparently there are a million and one man codes for utilizing the urinals. I continued to talk about this to my significant other who explained to me that you should act like you have blinders on and always look forward. At that point being me I have a Morbid Moment. I asked, "What if the man next to you who you are completely ignoring is some crazed killer with a pig mask on and has piano wire and strangles you all because you were looking completely forward and ignoring the man next to you?"

So fellas have you ever had this Morbid Moment? Also S/N fellas you need to just have a side eye peripheral thing going on to make sure you survive in the bathroom. You never know when a crazed killer with a pig mask might get you.

Twitter: Professorwhite

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