Funeral Home Paranoia

Hello Everyone, 

So everyday going to and from work I pass a funeral home and 9 out of 10 times there is a truck parked in front of the building. Now a funeral home can be scary all on its own but with this truck added in front I cannot help but to freak out. 

Yes, it is a hazmat truck. I am unsure why a hazmat truck is often hanging out in front of a funeral home. I am waiting for the day that there is a quarantine sign in front of the funeral home. 

All these morbid crazy thoughts start running through my head. I wonder if there will be some crazy virus outbreak like in Contagion or will it be where the Zombie Apocalypse starts in New Jersey, either way I became slightly nervous. 

Would you have this Morbid Moment too?

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When Animals Attack

Have you ever stared down the dangerous animal and just stood there and wait for the attack. I have looked into what I assumed would be the eyes and wait, I swear I saw it twitch, just preparing to leap or begin to stampede on my poor week human body. 

Yes, I am talking about topiary animals. 

They are not as cute as you think, they can and will attack. 

This poor man never stood a chance and neither will you. 

So be prepared, keep your eyes open, the attack from zombies may not come but the attack from the topiary will. 

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Rocky the Flying Squirrel

I was talking to a close friend the other day that was having a Morbid Moment as we were speaking. 

Isn't the squirrel just so cute! Who doesn't love Rocky and Bullwinkle but behind Rocky's smile may be something more. 

Okay I thought that pic was cute but in reality this is what is behind that smile. 

Apparently these squirrels enjoy gnawing on wires and creating holes in your house. Have you ever had the fear that the squirrel is cutting the wires so you will be cut off from the outside world, thereby making you easy pickings. Once the squirrel has you cut off they will gnaw their way into the home and kill you! 

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment? 

Thanks Na'Imah!

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Bathroom Paranoia: Psycho

I have come to the realization that while many of us have Car Paranoia; many more of us have Bathroom Paranoia. Therefore I am starting a new section of Morbid Moments about Bathroom Paranoia. 


At some point in time, we all have taken a shower and washed our hair in the shower.....well I hope everyone has showered or bathed. 

Do you ever become paranoid that once you close your eyes to wash your hair that a serial killer has snuck up outside your shower and is about to pull a Psycho but will strangle you with piano wire! (Okay maybe I am the only one concerned with the whole piano wire as you can tell from previous posts) 

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment of Paranoia?

~Thanks Yolie! 

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Tattoo Protection

As you all know, I often have paranoid thoughts about a serial killer killing me with piano wire. 

Have you ever thought about putting a tattoo on the torso of your body with your name and contact information or even a QR Code. This is just in case you are chopped up; hands and head removed to make it harder or impossible to identify your body. 

I personally think even if you are against tattoos, everyone should get one on your torso to make sure that you can be identified after the serial killer chops you up! I will not lie, this may have been one of the reasons behind my tattoos.

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Traffic Light Decapitation

Do you ever just find yourself sitting at a traffic light just staring off into the distance? Do you know that the average American will spend 38 hours sitting in traffic? Have you ever noticed that the wind is causing the traffic signal to swing really hard?

I always fear that this swinging traffic light will come loose and fly through my windshield and kill me.

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Siderodromophobia

Hey Guys,

Today you get two Morbid Moments for the price of one!

Are you ever driving your car and come up to a railroad crossing and worry if the warning system is not working. Especially when it is train tracks that you are constantly driving past and have yet to see a train cross. I worry that as I begin crossing that a train is going to come out of nowhere and take me out!

The next Morbid Moment that I always have is when I am driving under a overpass and see the train coming. I always think this is it, there is a penny on the tracks, it will derail, and take me out! (Yes I know a penny cannot derail a train, but still!)

Have you ever had these Morbid Moments?

*Side note the title means the fear of trains.

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Winter Wonderland

Recently in the state of New Jersey we had a little bit of snow fall which covered the roads but made a nice winter wonderland.

The beautiful snow can cause people to be stupid and cause multiple morbid moments. I was driving down the road and this idiot was walking in the middle of the street even though the sidewalks were perfectly clear. How foolish are you? This always causes me to think morbid thoughts like I could lose control of my car and hit you or even worse you can hit a patch of ice/snow/slush and slip and roll right under my car!

Would I be wrong if I yell out the window for the person to get on the sidewalk (this statement has been edited for any inappropriate language).

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Monkeys Want Your Soul!!!

I was recently watching television and saw one of those instrument playing monkeys. I thought to myself wow those things are the creepiest ever. I mean really think about it. The only time you see those Monkeys are in scary movies in which they automatically start playing because of some ghost or spirit is present. I personally think those Monkeys have evil souls from people who were executed for heinous crimes. I always feel that those Monkeys have one thing in mind and that is to kill!

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

S/N: Please do not look to closely in the eyes of the monkey in the picture it might try to steal your soul.

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Best Bedtime Story

“Once upon a time under your bed, there was the scariest monster ever to exist. Oh, did I say 'once upon a time'? I meant currently."

 

"It loves eating children"

"Not for any particular reason. That's just what it does."

"It's coming out to eat you probably within the next week, depending on its schedule. Tonight? Tomorrow? Who can say?"

"Good night. Sleep well”

 

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ATM Killer

I recently watched the trailer for the movie ATM and must admit I was excited to see Josh from Drake and Josh making a comeback. However, after watching the trailer I realized that this movie is essentially a morbid moment that I always have. I personally hate going to ATMs that are in that little vestibule thing. I always fear that the person waiting in the car or the person who has the nerve to come in there with me has donned a pig mask and has piano wire and is just waiting to kill me.

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Urinal - Man Codes

So after watching an episode of Man Code apparently there are a million and one man codes for utilizing the urinals. I continued to talk about this to my significant other who explained to me that you should act like you have blinders on and always look forward. At that point being me I have a Morbid Moment. I asked, "What if the man next to you who you are completely ignoring is some crazed killer with a pig mask on and has piano wire and strangles you all because you were looking completely forward and ignoring the man next to you?"

So fellas have you ever had this Morbid Moment? Also S/N fellas you need to just have a side eye peripheral thing going on to make sure you survive in the bathroom. You never know when a crazed killer with a pig mask might get you.

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Abandoned Hospitals

When I drive home from my hair stylist I have to make many turns in order to get back to the highway. In doing so I pass by this building that does not look so bad on the outside. It looks similar to the picture below, but it continues to provide me with a Morbid Moment.

I am sure you are thinking it does not look that bad but in reality it is an abandoned hospital. I always imagine that many people died there and that they are haunting the halls waiting for some foolish kids to want to go exploring and to never be heard from again.

Do you ever have this Morbid Moment?

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Zero Gravity Elevator Ride

Have you ever been in an elevator and became very afraid. Either the elevator may not have shut its doors, may not have moved, moved before the doors were closed or even had a sudden drop. It’s okay because I always worry if this is the time that the elevator will drop and I am left plummeting to my death. I have constant dreams about this. I feel like it will happen just like it does in the movies. The elevator will stop, I will glance up at the number, then a snap, then it begins to plummet and the numbers change quickly as I fall. Apparently on average 26 people a year die in an elevator in America so this is a healthy fear to have. So have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Tire Decapitation

Are you ever driving down a major highway and a tractor trailer drives up next to you and you become really nervous? I know I become worried not because one wrong turn and they can squish me like a bug but rather one bad tire blow out and they can decapitate me. C’mon people think about it. That tire can blow out and the shrapnel from it can fly through your window and decapitate you; it was even proven on Mythbusters! It could happen! That is why I try to get away from the tractor trailer as soon as possible. 

Have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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Skid Marks

Recently had a Morbid Moment. Are you ever driving on the road and see tire skid marks and then a mangled median? When you see this do you ever wonder if someone died there in a horrificly gruesome way? I always imagine that a person died there and that they are haunting that spot. It is even more morbid when you see all those items and then one of those shrines to the person. So the question is have you ever had this Morbid Moment?

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